Those are NOT happy exclamation marks. I've been in denial lately but I have gained a little weight. Really more than a little but it's not apparent until I try on 10 pairs of jeans and still don't fit them. 3 years ago when I was a senior in high school I lost about 20 pounds. I was so proud of myself and finally felt like I could begin to be pleased with my body. I was lean and tone...but long story short, I couldn't see it in the mirror. My eyes couldn't tell the difference even though I felt better and my clothes were definitely smaller...

Fast foward to now. I gained back most of the weight little by little. Now I'm the same size I was before I started losing weight. I actually weigh the same as I did when I started. For the past few years I've been in denial but now I realize that I realllllly need to get back on the right side of things. This is really disappointing to me but IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD!!!

I don't know if I've matured since then or just developed a better sense of self but three years ago this would have made me feel like a huge failure and I wouldn't have been able to look at myself. But right now I just feel like I've let myself down a little. I know how to get back to where I need to be...I just need to do it. The only problem is for the next six months I won't have contro of my meals because they're paid for...plus I'll be in freakin SPAIN! So I don't plan on "dieting" or "restricting" or "cutting" anything out. A few things that I think will help are:

• Walking. I know I'll be walking everywhere. Hopefully I'll be able to walk to school like I did in Peru but a 20-30 minute walk does the body good.
• Working out. I'll be tired and running around with classes and new friends. But I love my work out DVDs and I need to incorporate them atleast 3-4 times a week.
• Eating more fruit and veggies. This goes without saying. But I didn't take full advantage of cheap produce last semester so this semester I'll be trying to sneak in more fruits and veggies throughout the day.
• Sweets. I don't want to deny myself everything but I blew too much money on dulces (sweets) than I would have liked. I'll be treating myself a few times a week, not EVERY day. lol
• H2O. I normally drink only water and carry a water bottle but in the last few months I overindulged in sugary drinks (like the delicious Inka Cola). I burp less and have better digestion when I drink more water. Plus it's good for hair and skin!
• Get regular, stay regular. No one everrr wants to talk about it but everything about my body works more smoothly when I'm regular (in the #2 area). I eat better and feel...lighter when I'm not constipated. There, I said it.

That's all I can think of right now but it's really all I need. Simple and do-able. I don't necessarily have to lose weight but I just don't want to get any bigger. I generally feel better (healthier) when I'm about 10 pounds lighter than I am now. Will I lose that 10 lbs by summer? Probably not. There are just too many uncontrollable variables right now.

For the time being I've given up on jeans and pants in general. Leggings and dresses seem to be what I'm most comfortable in. I also think it's a phase. (I really love dresses). I think I'm not falling apart because I have more muscle than I did before so I still look kinda lean-er. I'm about a size smaller than I was the first time I was at this weight. But it's getting kind of tight....lol ;)

I kind of need to stop wearing jeans everyday anyway...but I won't use this as an excuse to keep eating ice cream for breakfast and pancakes as a mid night snack!